7 Ways to Build Mental Toughness by Mark Wager

7 Ways to Build Mental Toughness and Resilience in Tough Times

By Mark Wager

Life is unpredictable. Whether it’s personal struggles, professional setbacks, or global crises, tough times test our mental strength. Some people seem to navigate these challenges with confidence and determination, while others struggle under the weight of adversity. The difference often lies in mental toughness and resilience—the ability to persevere, adapt, and grow despite hardship.

Building mental toughness isn’t about ignoring emotions or suppressing stress. It’s about developing the mindset, habits, and strategies that allow you to stay strong, focused, and productive in difficult situations. As a leadership and mindset coach, I’ve worked with countless individuals—from business executives to athletes—who have learned to develop resilience and thrive under pressure.

Here are seven powerful ways to build your mental toughness and resilience when facing tough times.

1. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

When adversity strikes, your perception shapes your response. Mentally tough people have a knack for reframing obstacles as opportunities—a mindset shift that replaces fear with confidence. Rather than dwelling on, “Why is this happening to me?”, they ask questions like, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can this experience help me grow stronger?” This reframing process trains the brain to treat difficulties as temporary and manageable rather than overwhelming or permanent.

A useful technique is to write down three potential benefits or lessons from a tough experience. This rewires your brain to focus on growth instead of failure, reducing stress while encouraging proactive problem-solving.

2. Develop a Strong “Why”

Resilience is fuelled by purpose. People with a clear “why” tend to weather storms with greater resolve, because they’re anchored to something meaningful. When challenges arise, it’s not sheer willpower that sees them through—it’s purpose. Whether it’s the desire to support family, pursue a passion, or fulfil a long-term goal, this deeper motivation provides the strength to endure discomfort and continue moving forward.

One way to stay connected to your purpose is to write it down and keep it visible—perhaps on your desk or phone wallpaper. When you feel overwhelmed, let your “why” remind you what you’re fighting for.

3. Strengthen Your Emotional Agility

Mental toughness doesn’t mean suppressing emotions—it means responding to them in a constructive way. Emotional agility is about recognising your feelings without letting them dictate your actions. Instead of collapsing under stress, emotionally resilient individuals acknowledge what they’re experiencing and choose how to respond. For example, rather than thinking, “I can’t handle this,” try shifting to, “I feel overwhelmed, but I’ve faced challenges before—I can figure this out.”

Mindfulness practices or even daily journaling can help you become more emotionally aware. When you feel anxious or reactive, pause and take a few deep breaths. Then assess the situation objectively before taking action. This self-awareness is what allows mentally tough people to remain composed in high-pressure situations.

4. Cultivate Mental Discipline

Mental toughness is like a muscle—it strengthens through consistent training. One of the most effective ways to build this inner strength is by embracing discomfort. Resilient people understand that growth often lies just beyond the edges of comfort. They choose to do the hard things—not because they want to, but because they know it will make them stronger in the long run.

Start by doing one small thing each day that challenges you—perhaps waking up earlier, exercising even when you’re tired, taking a cold shower, or speaking up when you’d rather stay silent. These seemingly minor acts of discipline accumulate over time, building the mental endurance needed to tackle larger challenges.

5. Control the Controllables

A major source of stress is worrying about things outside your control. Resilient individuals take a different approach—they focus their energy on the aspects they can influence. When faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself: “What can I actually control here?” This might include your actions, your attitude, or the way you respond to others.

One exercise I often recommend is to make a two-column list. On the left, write down everything causing you stress that’s outside your control. On the right, list what is within your control—your mindset, your routines, your responses. Then commit to focusing only on the right-hand column. This shift restores your sense of agency and helps prevent feelings of helplessness.

6. Build a Support System

Resilience isn’t a solo pursuit. One of the most overlooked traits of mentally tough people is their willingness to lean on others. Rather than seeing it as weakness, they recognise that seeking help is a sign of strength. A strong support network—whether it’s made up of friends, family, mentors, or colleagues—offers perspective, encouragement, and practical advice during challenging times.

Take time to identify a few key people you can rely on. You don’t need to have all the answers yourself. Reaching out for support, even if it’s just to talk something through, can lighten the emotional load and help you regain clarity when things feel overwhelming.

7. Maintain a Growth Mindset

At the heart of resilience lies a growth mindset—the belief that abilities and outcomes can improve through effort and learning. People with this mindset don’t see failure as a sign to quit, but rather as a valuable part of the journey. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at this,” they say, “I’m not good at this yet.”

That single word—“yet”—can transform the way your brain processes challenges. It keeps you focused on possibilities rather than limitations. Each time you hit a wall, remind yourself that improvement is always within reach, even if progress is slow.

Mental toughness isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build through consistent practice and intentional choices. Resilience doesn’t mean avoiding hardship; it means being prepared to rise when hardship inevitably comes.

By learning to reframe challenges, connect to your purpose, master your emotions, build discipline, focus on what you can control, lean on others, and maintain a growth mindset, you equip yourself with the internal tools needed not just to survive—but to thrive.

Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. The question isn’t whether you’ll face adversity—it’s how you’ll respond when it comes. Will you break, or will you rise?

If you’re looking for further guidance on building mental toughness and resilience, I offer personalised coaching sessions to help individuals develop the mindset and strategies needed to succeed. Get in touch to learn more.