The real reason why your dreams are not coming true

The real reason why your dreams are not coming true

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The real reason why your dreams are not coming true

By Mark Wager

As you are about to read this article just pause and think about your life for a minute, I mean really think about it. Are you happy? We all have our good and bad days but on balance you most likely would call yourself happy. Are you successful? Well this obviously depends on what you define as success for some people just getting through the day is success yet the majority of people look at their career, their home and their circle of friends and describe themselves as successful. Now ask yourself have you made your dreams come true? There would be very few people reading this article that could truthfully say that their dreams have come true.

Why? You are a happy successful person, what is it that preventing you getting to that next level? What is that missing ingredient? Well read on and I’ll tell you

You are locked in a seemingly never-ending battle with the one person who is doing everything they can to stop you, even going to such lengths that they would deliberately sabotage you from reaching your full potential. That person

Self-sabotage is the number one cause of failure and you might not even be aware that you are doing this. That is because your conscious and non-conscious mind works together but if your non-conscious mind doesn’t want the same thing that your conscious mind wants then this shadow side of yourself wins and you lose. Sounds crazy? Well let me explain just how powerful your shadow-self is.

The processing power of our conscious mind is only a fraction of the total power of our non-conscious mind. To put it in perspective if you were standing outside Sky tower and the processing power of your non-conscious mind could take you to Warkworth, the power of your conscious mind wouldn’t even get you to the first set of traffic lights. Your conscious mind processes 2,000 bits of data per second yet your non-conscious mind, your shadow self can process 4 billion bits of data per second. Now imagine if you and your shadow self are in conflict it’s not really a surprise to who’s going to win

Can you work together with your shadow self?

Well you already do think back to when you first starting driving. In most cases you would have made a conscious effort to check the mirrors, made sure your seatbelt was firmly fastened and you closely observed the road for any potential hazards. You most likely felt that any passenger talking to you was a distraction, yet fast forward to today and now you drive around, chatting to the person next to you, radio blasting out while noticing the new billboard for M2 magazine What has changed? Well what has happened is that you have been driving so long that it has become instinct and once something has become instinct you non-conscious mind takes over. So when you started driving your conscious mind was in control but now your conscious mind is chatting to the person next to you while your non-conscious mind drives your car.  

Why doesn’t this always happen?

The key is trying to make this happen with everything. The problem is that your shadow self doesn’t have an imagination it believes everything is reality and does what it can to maintain that reality. So using the example above when your shadow-self believed that you could drive well it stopped fighting with you and did everything it could to maintain that reality. So your self-doubts, your hesitancy, your nerves stopped. How many times have you interviewed someone who’s very capable of the role but just implode at interview, that is because their shadow-self didn’t see themselves in the new role so clung onto that reality and the person couldn’t believe in themselves enough to change that belief.

How do I beat my shadow-self?

To start with you have to know who you are fighting. Your shadow-self has been built up over the years by layers upon layers of experiences, some good, and some bad but all adding up to your very own shadow that in a fraction of a millisecond debates and then decides how you instinctively react to a situation. How many times have you heard someone say that they reacted without thinking or said something that within a few seconds they regretted? This is what we call pre-cognitive thought.

Belief precedes evidence

The good news is that there is something called pre-cognitive genius, the ability to make the right decision without the rational mind processing how to respond. You can learn this pre-cognitive genius. It’s a long process but the first step is simple, you have to starting believing that your dreams, everything you want in life can and will come true. Never forget that in 100% of all cases you will find that belief precedes evidence.

The struggle we face is best described by author Marianne Williamson who once wrote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond belief"


This article is taken from the book "Elite Leadership". Click the link below to purchase through Amazon

About the Author:

Mark Wager is New Zealand's leading Leadership Coach. To contact Mark regarding Leadership Coaching, MBTI Team Building or MBTI communication training please use the enquiry form below

Posted: Monday 20 May 2013


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